She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
