All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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