Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
