the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
