You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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