i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
