I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
