mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
