Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Panties = found
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
