no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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