4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm determined to sit on that face.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
