And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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