dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
