Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
