Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
