My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
