Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
