Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Damn victory sex feels great
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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