How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
