left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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