Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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