I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
