is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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