I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
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Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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