Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
