Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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