I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
