we have officially lost it.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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