Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
