you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Couch. On fire.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
