Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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