this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
