Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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