What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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