Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
