Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
