we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
