just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
