he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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