i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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