I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
