i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
