Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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