This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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