is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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