so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
