The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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