whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i drank out of a bidet.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
