Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize