So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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