I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
