Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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