Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
