Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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