Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
