Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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