oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
