I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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