i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
