I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
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