Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
